The Ericksons

Category Archives: Authenticity

Social Anxiety Introvert

There are thousands of phobias and fears in the world. Most of us only have one or two, and they are as individual as we are. I once knew a woman who was petrified of cotton balls. I’m not joking. I witnessed one of her employees trap her in her office by simply putting a cotton ball on the office doorknob. All it took to free the woman was to remove the offending fluff ball. What’s the scariest thing of all for me? Social interaction. As I conclude this month’s frightening series on authenticity. I’m going to talk about my biggest fear and how social anxiety is different from being introverted or shy.What exactly does it mean to be an introvert?If you’ve read a few of my posts, or follow me on social media, you probably know that I’m an introvert. “Introverts are drained by social encounters and energized by solitary, often creative pursuits. Their disposition is frequently misconstrued as shyness, social phobia, or even avoidant personality disorder, but many introverts socialize easily; they just strongly prefer not to. In fact, the self-styled introvert can be more empathic and interpersonally connected than his or her outgoing counterparts.”[1]I don’t view my Read more…

Some writers you may have the ability to let ‘er rip and say whatever you darn well please. Or maybe you question your conscience about whether certain things are appropriate to include in your fiction writing, or not. Things that might be sensitive include:Violencecontent of a sexual naturevulgar languagebiographical information which could harm the reputation or sensibilities of another living (or dead) personanything else that the particular writer is afraid to share authenticallyGenreSometimes it all comes down to the genre. There are certain genres where taboo topics and anything graphic is a strict no-no. For example, the first 3 items on this list of questionable content are off limits in children’s books and cozy mysteries (among other genres). When genre dictates what can and can’t be included in the content, it has nothing to do with being authentic. These are guidelines, rules which must be followed. Readers have certain expectations when it comes to the genre they read. For example, you would never put a sex scene in a Christian romance. In the Christian romance genre, kissing is fine. However, sex and swearing will completely turn a Christian romance audience off.Knowing what’s appropriate to include in your fiction writing isn’t Read more…

Judgments we Make

This month I’ve been looking at authenticity and what makes being authentic so scary for most people. Last week we talked about why the fear of rejection can make authenticity so elusive. This week we will focus on the judgments we make and those that are made about us. Once we have a deeper understanding of the judgments we make, every day, we can take control over that part of our psyche and overcome it, leading to a more authentic life and more authentic writing.We all do itEven though it’s not politically correct to make snap judgments about people based on very little information, we do it every day—in fact, multiple times a day. In many ways, it is a survival instinct of sorts. We have to be able to quickly sort through people and situations that are “safe” and those that aren’t.Imagine you get into an elevator at 10 PM after a long day of (shopping, work, hanging out with friends, you name it). There is a guy who has a really angry look on his face, like he’s on his way to confront the guy who knocked over his Harley. There’s also a 5-foot tall woman in a Read more…

Fear of Rejection

As Halloween approaches, thoughts turn to the frightening things in life (and death). So this month we’ll be taking a look at one of the scariest things for many new (and some seasoned) writers: Authenticity. One of the reasons it can be difficult to be authentic in your writing is fear of rejection.Fear of Rejection and JudgementThe fear of rejection in person, on social media, and in writing, is something nearly everyone has experienced (to some extent). Cyberbullying is on the rise. “In fact, according to the anti-bullying website, 52 percent of young people report being cyberbullied and over half of them don’t report it to their parents.” [1] If you want to learn more, check out my friend, Jacqui Murray’s recent post.Fear of Rejection and the Family PortraitBecause of this fear of rejection, we show the world only what we want them to see. We have become so adept at this that often we don’t even realize what we’re doing.Recently we had some family pictures taken and I posted one of them (my very favorite) on Facebook.Beautiful, isn’t it? But I wasn’t in it. I was uncomfortable with the world seeing how much weight I have gained in Read more…

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